We know that Mary was a chosen woman, but as I sift through her experiences in a practical way, I realize just how chosen she was.
To begin with, an angel comes to tell her she will become pregnant with God's child. Even with her Jewish background, having heard of the prophecies of some type of immaculate conception, this would have been crazy information to digest. Like ok, I'm 12-14 years old, I'm not married, and I'm going to be pregnant with God's child... But Mary, like the amazingly graceful woman she is responded with an entirely practical question, full of curiosity and openness, "How shall this be, seeing I know not a man?" The angel explains a little of the process to her (as much as you can really explain these things) and then comes one of my favorite scriptures in all of the LDS cannon.
"Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word."
That's it. The angel leaves and Mary is left with her thoughts.There are a million other questions I could think to ask such an angel. Questions like "But wait, when people find out I'm pregnant, none of them are going to believe that I'm a virgin. What am I going to do about that?" or "Joseph is going to be furious when he finds out. What if he chooses to have me stoned in the square? What about my family? What will they think of me? What will happen to them?"
Mary's incredibly humble response to the declaration of this angel speaks to the depth of my heart. Oh that I could have the faith like that of this woman. I wake up every morning with a lack of faith wondering if I can get through my day without yelling at my kids or wondering if we'll have enough money to make it until Isaac graduates. These things seem so trivial to what Mary went through, yet her faith was mountains above where mine has ever been.
Even just looking at the practical logistics of this process. The fact that Mary was coping with a surprise pregnancy, but not any surprise, THE surprise. She didn't even make the choice to have sex and still got pregnant in a time of society where she could be stoned to death for doing so out of wedlock. She then has to process the fact that she will soon become the mother of the prophesied Messiah, the Savior of the World. No pressure or anything, you're just going to be the mother of the most perfect and exalted being who will ever walk the earth. While adjusting to her new situation, Mary then travels to see her cousin, Elisabeth, during the end of her first trimester to the middle of her second trimester, a visit which must have been incredibly validating for both women in recognizing the miracles they had both experienced. We don't know anything about how smoothly Mary's pregnancy went (one would hope that God had mercy on her and she had a fairly simple, healthy 9 months), but just imagine if she experienced morning sickness or back pain or swollen feat while dealing with everything else.
She comes back from Elisabeth's house (after half a chapter of her praising the Lord out of faith and humility) and then Joseph finds out. So here we go. This was such a pivotal moment for them both. How terrifying that must have been for Mary to go through, knowing the her life and the life of her precious baby were now in Joseph's hands, a man she hardly knew.
Because Joseph was engaged to Mary, after finding out that she was pregnant with a child that wasn't his, he had 2 options in society at that time. He could have her stoned to death and then thrown off of a cliff, shaming her whole family for the rest of the foreseeable future, or he could "put her away", which in essence would make her a menace to society and shame her whole family. Mary would live out the rest of her days unable to be wed to anyone, unable to be a member of everyday society, always with the mark of an adulterous woman. Oh, and Joseph would still receive her dowry. The scriptures say that Joseph was a just man, so stoning felt really harsh to him. He opted for the second, more subtle approach and was "minded to put her away privily." Imagine Mary's heartache while all of this is going on. I don't know how much information she had about Joseph's thought process here, but how do you even explain something like this to your fiance, a stranger?
Then we learn about the true character of Joseph, another man I admire so much. Instead of following all of the societal pressures of the day (which inevitably were present), he listened to the angel about Mary. He took her to wife and went to Bethlehem to pay his taxes. I can't imagine what his friends and family thought about him taking a pregnant woman to wife when she wasn't pregnant with his own child. What faith Joseph must have had during this time as well.
Then Mary rides a donkey for many miles at 8-9months pregnant. 8-9 months pregnant and she's riding a donkey across the desert. I can't imagine how sore every part of her body must have been.
She gives birth to our precious Savior in a lowly stable, no medication, no accommodations. And then people from all around come to visit. In the typical manger scene we see lots of different people all there at once, but we know that actually they all came at different times; the wise men likely came when Jesus was a toddler. Today it occurred to me that I really hope for Mary's sake that there weren't a bunch of random people all dropping by the stable to bring gifts and well wishes right after she gave birth. Can you imagine having just given birth in an unfamiliar, dirty place with your new husband (whom you don't even know that well yet) and then having a bunch of people come by to see you and your baby? That sounds awful to me. I hope Mary had some time to bond with her brand new baby all on her own and that she and Joseph were able to have some of those precious moments together before more people came.
I could go on and on about how Mary must have felt at different points in Christ's ministry, leading to the time when He made the ultimate sacrifice for us. What an amazing woman. I aspire to be just like her. When we hear talks about motherhood in LDS church meetings, we often hear references to the 2,000 Stripling Warriors because their "mothers knew it." Which is great, but it drives me a little crazy sometimes because as I've studied women in the scriptures I have come across sooo many more references to strong, dedicated, humble, graceful, faithful mothers. Mary is definitely at the top of my list of incredible examples of what it means to be a faithful woman and mother.
I hope that as I continue to study her example of grace and humility, during times of trial or difficulties, I will find myself leaving behind my fear and pride, instead humbling my heart and saying "Behold, the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word."
