Today, I woke up my mom. It was the 4th time I woke her up since she made me go to sleep last night. Obviously she doesn't understand that sleep is optional, a gift given by a selfless son like me on nights when I feel generous.
This time when I woke her up, I made sure to make little whiny sighs, like I do when I'm not really upset yet, but I want her attention. (She always falls for the whiny sighs.) After a few minutes, I realized that I might need to bring out the big guns, so I started to cry. She got out of bed and picked me up. ;) After cuddling me for a bit, she brought me to one of my favorite places in the world- my Changing Table!
Oh, my changing table. You represent everything good in the world. You are the gift that keeps on giving. I love looking in the mirror next to my changing table, and making sounds at my friend, the funny looking baby on the other side. (What does he do all day when I'm not there to play with him?) Sometimes, I can see my mom in the mirror. It's so funny, all I have to do is smile, and my mom goes crazy. I love making her smile, so I do what I can.
Donning a fresh, dry diaper, I headed back to Mom's room to play. To thank me for the segments of sleep I gave her, she started playing with me. We did our morning exercise with Mom moving my arms and legs, while tickling my tummy. Seriously, I don't understand why she thinks tickling is necessary. I kept smiling because it's so funny to watch her reaction each time. She makes all of these funny noises and faces, and all I have to do is smile.
After a while, Mom and I got so noisy that Dad woke up. He's just like Mom, so when he started talking and making all of his funny noises, I smiled at him too. Mom and Dad always argue about who I smile at the most, so I like to change it up every now and then, just trying to keep things lively.
After our morning exercise, I decided that I was tired, so I went back to sleep. Sometimes, I'm not sure if I really want to go back to sleep though, so it takes me a while to decide. During this time, I expect Mom to hold me and be patient. Ultimately, I usually decide that a nap sounds good, so there's that.
After I woke up, I ate again. Eating is another favorite of mine. Mom knows that I don't have much patience when it comes to my food. When I want my food, she is expected to give it to me right away. Sometimes she tells me that I need to wait while she gets my bottle ready. I'm not sure why she didn't just think of that before I was hungry. (What else does she have going on, anyway?) I let her know that her lack of preparation should not mean that I have to suffer by screaming as loudly as possible. This usually helps her to understand that in the future, she needs to be prepared and not take so long getting my bottle ready.
After eating, I had to burp. Burping is an art. Sometimes, I like to burp loudly and abruptly. Sometimes, I like to take a long time before burping, just to build the suspense. Burps come in a variety of different mediums. Sometimes they are more solid, sometimes they are more watery. I often like to choose a specific target on which to bestow my artwork. These targets often include Mom's clean outfit, Dad's shoulder and down his back, or all over myself. It really just depends on the day. Sometimes Mom tries to hinder my creative talent by placing a "burp cloth" in the way. But I usually make my burps unpredictable enough that she doesn't get there in time.
Well basically, that's my day. Just repeat all of the things I mentioned above about 7 times, and you'll have it.
Overall, I'd say my life is pretty good. I have two parents who would do anything for me, especially if I smile. I have a comfy bed, and an awesome changing table (Shout out to my homeboy, mirror friend!). Hopefully, soon I'll be able to grab stuff like Mom's hair and eat baby food (which I've heard can also be quite the art).
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Monday, December 3, 2012
Kinda Everything
Isn't it funny how you always want to write a blog post at those times when you have a million other things you really need to be doing?
But I'm using it as an excuse! I have about 27+ pages to write over the next week, so I figure writing a blog post is just a way of getting into the writing mode.
I thought I'd just give a general update of the goings on in the Olive household since I haven't done that in a while.
Isaac and I are doing well. It's definitely an adjustment having a baby, much more than we thought it would be. With both of us in school, him working, me doing therapy stuff, and two church callings a piece, we're busy people. Everyone always asks us how we're doing it, but to us it's just life. All of the things we are doing right now are great things, and we chose to do them, so it wouldn't make much sense to complain about them.
We'll both be finishing this semester over the next couple of weeks and we're really excited. Tech gives us a month for Christmas break, and we plan to have a fun, productive month. We get to spend Christmas with both of our families this year, and we're really looking forward to being with everyone.
Sam is doing wonderfully. I'm constantly in awe about how good he is. I've been around a fair share of babies in my life, so I know the mellow ones vs the stubborn, attitude ones. Sam is about as mellow as you get. As long as his needs are met, he is perfectly happy. I can't remember a single instance where Sam's needs have been met and he cried anyway. He's just a happy boy. Isaac and I feel very blessed to have such an easy-going baby, especially right now. He's perfect for what we needed, and we're very grateful.
For me, as a mother, this baby business has been a difficult adjustment. I love Sam with all of my heart, and it surprises me how much I completely adore him. He really is the best, easiest baby that I could imagine having. That being said, having a baby is hard.
I find that things that used to be easy are now a lot more complicated. My morning routine, for instance, used to take me around 45 minutes to an hour (including showing, hair, make-up, and breakfast). But now, it takes me close to 3 hours because everything is broken up around Sam's needs. My house never gets clean, because by the time I'm finally ready for the day, I need to do homework or head to class. Sleep, of course, is a whole other ball game. Sam's sleep schedule is still somewhat sporadic, and that makes getting things done difficult as well. Beyond that, I'm constantly trying to juggle school and other things, trying to determine what it's ok to bring him to, and what I need to get a sitter for.
But the thing is, none of that stuff matters. After hours of conversation with Isaac about how frustrated I am at my "lack of productivity," he has helped me realize something. It's never going to be the same as it was before. I'm never going to get everything done on my list, because there's something much more important going on. I've learned over the last little while, that by choosing to go to grad school and have a baby, I chose to let other things go. I can't do it all, no matter how much I want to, and that's ok. Sam makes up for everything I feel like I've lost by having him. In fact, he far exceeds everything I used to have. Him being in my life is the biggest blessing imaginable. After long nights where he woke up every 1-2 hours, I sit with him in the morning and still marvel that he is in my life. He smiles at me, and I say a silent prayer in thanksgiving to God for this amazing gift. Getting ready for the day, I stare at my new body in the mirror, and convince myself that those marks are the marks of motherhood, of beauty and selflessness, and that makes everything seem so much better.
I know that this has been kind of a long blog post, but it's been on my mind a lot lately. I think I felt like I was failing if I couldn't accomplish all of the things that I wanted to and be a good mom at the same time. But that's not true. Sam won't remember if my kitchen was spotless, or if he always had the cutest, cleanest clothes. He won't care if he had to spend extra hours with Daddy because Mommy was at school or doing therapy. In fact, he'll like that time spent with Daddy. For now, it's all about perspective. This school thing won't last forever, and then I'll be done. I'll be able to invest full-time at home and get the things done there that I want to. Until then, I need to keep the perspective that Isaac and I chose both of these blessings. We chose to go to school and have Sam. So I should feel blessed that we are able to do so, and stop worrying so much about all of the trivial things.
Overall our family is doing really well. We feel very blessed by all that we have been given and continue to enjoy our lives. I'm so excited about the Christmas season, it's definitely my favorite time of year.
(About 4 weeks ago)This is my favorite time of day. It's the first time I talk to Sam in the morning. We don't usually talk to him at night so he gets super excited each morning when we do. This makes everything so worth it.
But I'm using it as an excuse! I have about 27+ pages to write over the next week, so I figure writing a blog post is just a way of getting into the writing mode.
I thought I'd just give a general update of the goings on in the Olive household since I haven't done that in a while.
Isaac and I are doing well. It's definitely an adjustment having a baby, much more than we thought it would be. With both of us in school, him working, me doing therapy stuff, and two church callings a piece, we're busy people. Everyone always asks us how we're doing it, but to us it's just life. All of the things we are doing right now are great things, and we chose to do them, so it wouldn't make much sense to complain about them.
We'll both be finishing this semester over the next couple of weeks and we're really excited. Tech gives us a month for Christmas break, and we plan to have a fun, productive month. We get to spend Christmas with both of our families this year, and we're really looking forward to being with everyone.
Sam is doing wonderfully. I'm constantly in awe about how good he is. I've been around a fair share of babies in my life, so I know the mellow ones vs the stubborn, attitude ones. Sam is about as mellow as you get. As long as his needs are met, he is perfectly happy. I can't remember a single instance where Sam's needs have been met and he cried anyway. He's just a happy boy. Isaac and I feel very blessed to have such an easy-going baby, especially right now. He's perfect for what we needed, and we're very grateful.
For me, as a mother, this baby business has been a difficult adjustment. I love Sam with all of my heart, and it surprises me how much I completely adore him. He really is the best, easiest baby that I could imagine having. That being said, having a baby is hard.
I find that things that used to be easy are now a lot more complicated. My morning routine, for instance, used to take me around 45 minutes to an hour (including showing, hair, make-up, and breakfast). But now, it takes me close to 3 hours because everything is broken up around Sam's needs. My house never gets clean, because by the time I'm finally ready for the day, I need to do homework or head to class. Sleep, of course, is a whole other ball game. Sam's sleep schedule is still somewhat sporadic, and that makes getting things done difficult as well. Beyond that, I'm constantly trying to juggle school and other things, trying to determine what it's ok to bring him to, and what I need to get a sitter for.
But the thing is, none of that stuff matters. After hours of conversation with Isaac about how frustrated I am at my "lack of productivity," he has helped me realize something. It's never going to be the same as it was before. I'm never going to get everything done on my list, because there's something much more important going on. I've learned over the last little while, that by choosing to go to grad school and have a baby, I chose to let other things go. I can't do it all, no matter how much I want to, and that's ok. Sam makes up for everything I feel like I've lost by having him. In fact, he far exceeds everything I used to have. Him being in my life is the biggest blessing imaginable. After long nights where he woke up every 1-2 hours, I sit with him in the morning and still marvel that he is in my life. He smiles at me, and I say a silent prayer in thanksgiving to God for this amazing gift. Getting ready for the day, I stare at my new body in the mirror, and convince myself that those marks are the marks of motherhood, of beauty and selflessness, and that makes everything seem so much better.
I know that this has been kind of a long blog post, but it's been on my mind a lot lately. I think I felt like I was failing if I couldn't accomplish all of the things that I wanted to and be a good mom at the same time. But that's not true. Sam won't remember if my kitchen was spotless, or if he always had the cutest, cleanest clothes. He won't care if he had to spend extra hours with Daddy because Mommy was at school or doing therapy. In fact, he'll like that time spent with Daddy. For now, it's all about perspective. This school thing won't last forever, and then I'll be done. I'll be able to invest full-time at home and get the things done there that I want to. Until then, I need to keep the perspective that Isaac and I chose both of these blessings. We chose to go to school and have Sam. So I should feel blessed that we are able to do so, and stop worrying so much about all of the trivial things.
Overall our family is doing really well. We feel very blessed by all that we have been given and continue to enjoy our lives. I'm so excited about the Christmas season, it's definitely my favorite time of year.
(About 4 weeks ago)This is my favorite time of day. It's the first time I talk to Sam in the morning. We don't usually talk to him at night so he gets super excited each morning when we do. This makes everything so worth it.
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Sam Smiles
Lately, Sam has been smiling a bunch. And these aren't like, "Hey, I'm letting out some gas right now and that's a relief." type smiles, they are legit, responding to mom and dad type smiles.
Sometimes I'll set Sam down to get some stuff done, and every once and while I'll catch him smiling out of the corner of my eye. If Isaac and I are having a conversation, or the temple mirror that we have in our living room is in his view, there is a smile on his face.
I am beginning to live for those smiles. It never gets boring or normal. Every time he looks at me and smiles, my heart melts all over again, and I marvel at how awesome he is.
It's funny, because I'm almost scared to miss them. I'm afraid that sometime I'll be too busy or not paying enough attention, and he'll have a smile on his face. I don't want to miss a single smile or a single moment.
I guess that's another hardship of motherhood, the fact that we'll have to miss some things. I'll have to miss smiles here and babbling there. It's a hard concept to resign myself to.
Every time I have to leave my little one, for class or otherwise, I think about how I'll never get those 3 hours back. He'll never be just 7 weeks, 8 hours, and 23 minutes old again.
He's already grown up so much since he was born. Part of me is super excited to learn more about him and slowly see his personality develop. But the mother in me is mourning the time already gone. I now understand why I hear mothers say to treasure the moments that you have, because it all passes too quickly.
I know Isaac feels the same. Just the other day he said, "It wouldn't be so bad if you got pregnant again. It'd be fun to have another little baby." To which I replied, "Um... no."
Anyway, the reality is that time has to pass. I guess the important part is enjoying the time we are given and living life to its fullest. For now, I will continue to marvel at every little coo or smile. Sam amazes me every day. I never want to lose that feeling of wonder and excitement about him.
Sometimes I'll set Sam down to get some stuff done, and every once and while I'll catch him smiling out of the corner of my eye. If Isaac and I are having a conversation, or the temple mirror that we have in our living room is in his view, there is a smile on his face.
I am beginning to live for those smiles. It never gets boring or normal. Every time he looks at me and smiles, my heart melts all over again, and I marvel at how awesome he is.
It's funny, because I'm almost scared to miss them. I'm afraid that sometime I'll be too busy or not paying enough attention, and he'll have a smile on his face. I don't want to miss a single smile or a single moment.
I guess that's another hardship of motherhood, the fact that we'll have to miss some things. I'll have to miss smiles here and babbling there. It's a hard concept to resign myself to.
Every time I have to leave my little one, for class or otherwise, I think about how I'll never get those 3 hours back. He'll never be just 7 weeks, 8 hours, and 23 minutes old again.
He's already grown up so much since he was born. Part of me is super excited to learn more about him and slowly see his personality develop. But the mother in me is mourning the time already gone. I now understand why I hear mothers say to treasure the moments that you have, because it all passes too quickly.
I know Isaac feels the same. Just the other day he said, "It wouldn't be so bad if you got pregnant again. It'd be fun to have another little baby." To which I replied, "Um... no."
Anyway, the reality is that time has to pass. I guess the important part is enjoying the time we are given and living life to its fullest. For now, I will continue to marvel at every little coo or smile. Sam amazes me every day. I never want to lose that feeling of wonder and excitement about him.
Monday, October 22, 2012
1 Month
1 Month
Sam:
- sleeps up to 4.5 hours at night
- eats up to 4.5 ounces in one feeding
- unintentionally smiles a bunch
- loves sleeping in his car seat
- has very efficient bodily functions
- loves to look in the mirror on his changing table
- hates sleeping because he would rather look around at everything
- is still undecided about his baths
- loves cuddling next to mom in a nice warm blanket
His parents:
- are sleep deprived, but managing
- are learning that babies take up a lot more time than they thought
- unconsciously set the ultimate goal of helping Sam sleep as much as possible
- have become diaper-changing pros (especially his dad, who up until he was born had yet to change a diaper)
- love making as many noises/ faces as it takes to try to get a reaction from Sam
- love taking pictures and videos
- spend all of their time trying to understand the tricks that show what Sam needs/ wants at any given moment
- are head-over-heals in love with the little guy
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Privileged
Today, I was walking to my car on the way home from class and I saw a funeral procession being led by 2 police cars. As I saw the cars rolling through the intersection, it struck me how awesome it is to be an American.
The USA is a really neat country.
With all of the political craziness going on right now, it's good to remember that the fundamental freedoms and privileges we enjoy here are still available. I know I need to be more grateful for that.
Take the Police Force for instance:
- How awesome is it that we can call loyal citizens to come help us when we need them? I remember in Russia how corrupt the police force was. They could pull you over at any time (which actually happened to my host dad at one point) and without any cause could give you a ticket, or you could just pay them off and be on your way (which is what my host dad did). Thank goodness we live in a country where police officers take their job seriously. I'm so glad to know that at any point I feel unsafe, honest law enforcement is just a phone call away.
Or how about our Flag?
- Any time a tragedy happens at any point in our nation, the flags are lowered to half mast. I love that. I remember after the several shootings we've had this year, each time I drove home I saw the flags at half mast all over Lubbock. It's so comforting to know that when one city or county or state is hurting, the rest of the country is on their side, mourning with them regardless of political affiliation.
These are 2 simple, but powerful examples of how amazing our country is. Regardless of race, political affiliation, religious beliefs, etc... our country serves its people. I just think that's really cool.
The USA is a really neat country.
With all of the political craziness going on right now, it's good to remember that the fundamental freedoms and privileges we enjoy here are still available. I know I need to be more grateful for that.
Take the Police Force for instance:
- How awesome is it that we can call loyal citizens to come help us when we need them? I remember in Russia how corrupt the police force was. They could pull you over at any time (which actually happened to my host dad at one point) and without any cause could give you a ticket, or you could just pay them off and be on your way (which is what my host dad did). Thank goodness we live in a country where police officers take their job seriously. I'm so glad to know that at any point I feel unsafe, honest law enforcement is just a phone call away.
Or how about our Flag?
- Any time a tragedy happens at any point in our nation, the flags are lowered to half mast. I love that. I remember after the several shootings we've had this year, each time I drove home I saw the flags at half mast all over Lubbock. It's so comforting to know that when one city or county or state is hurting, the rest of the country is on their side, mourning with them regardless of political affiliation.
These are 2 simple, but powerful examples of how amazing our country is. Regardless of race, political affiliation, religious beliefs, etc... our country serves its people. I just think that's really cool.
Monday, October 8, 2012
Year 1
Today is Isaac and I's 1-year anniversary. It's crazy to think that at this exact time one year ago, Isaac and I were kneeling across an alter, making promises to one another and God for time and all eternity. Little did we know what this year had in store for us.
Looking back:
- We have moved four times.
- Isaac had two jobs, I had one.
- We've both attended school.
- I finished my Bachelors and started my Masters degree.
- Our house was broken into and robbed.
- We visited Isaac's father in various places throughout his treatment.
- Isaac's father passed away and we attended his funeral.
- We had a beautiful baby boy.
Through all of these events and just the everyday activities of life, I have come to love Isaac more than I ever knew how to love anyone.
Going into this whole marriage thing, Isaac and I were pretty sure we had our relationship covered. We had known (loved) each other for 7 years at that point, so what more could we have to learn?
We were so wrong...
I have come to realize that Isaac has certain quirks which will inevitably drive me crazy for the rest of our lives, and he has some amazing attributes which will inevitably make me happy for the rest of our lives. Until being married I never knew that Isaac's socks would show up underneath anything. Under the coffee table, under the kitchen table, under our bed- whatever they can be underneath, they are. I never knew that Isaac and I could listen to the same song and remember entirely different lyrics, his often being made up to change the meaning to the songs entirely. I never realized how much work it was to make sure we stayed connected, not just getting wrapped up in our separate busy lives and forgetting about each other.
But beyond all of the trivial things I have come to learn about my husband, there are so many more amazing things I have learned. I never knew how much Isaac loves people or how much he loves to serve and do missionary work. He loves to make me smile or curl up next to me after a long day. In the past 3 weeks, I have seen how amazing Isaac is as a father. He loves Sam and thinks every little thing he does is the cutest thing in the world. (Which, let's be honest, it is.)
Though the past year was unexpectedly challenging for both of us, I couldn't be more grateful to have spent it with my best friend. I'm just starting to understand why marriage is so important and so meaningful. It's more than us just being friends, it's an obligation we have to one another, a responsibility we have to treasure each other. I'm so grateful that we made the choice to get married one year ago today.
It's been a great year.
Looking back:
- We have moved four times.
- Isaac had two jobs, I had one.
- We've both attended school.
- I finished my Bachelors and started my Masters degree.
- Our house was broken into and robbed.
- We visited Isaac's father in various places throughout his treatment.
- Isaac's father passed away and we attended his funeral.
- We had a beautiful baby boy.
Through all of these events and just the everyday activities of life, I have come to love Isaac more than I ever knew how to love anyone.
Going into this whole marriage thing, Isaac and I were pretty sure we had our relationship covered. We had known (loved) each other for 7 years at that point, so what more could we have to learn?
We were so wrong...
I have come to realize that Isaac has certain quirks which will inevitably drive me crazy for the rest of our lives, and he has some amazing attributes which will inevitably make me happy for the rest of our lives. Until being married I never knew that Isaac's socks would show up underneath anything. Under the coffee table, under the kitchen table, under our bed- whatever they can be underneath, they are. I never knew that Isaac and I could listen to the same song and remember entirely different lyrics, his often being made up to change the meaning to the songs entirely. I never realized how much work it was to make sure we stayed connected, not just getting wrapped up in our separate busy lives and forgetting about each other.
But beyond all of the trivial things I have come to learn about my husband, there are so many more amazing things I have learned. I never knew how much Isaac loves people or how much he loves to serve and do missionary work. He loves to make me smile or curl up next to me after a long day. In the past 3 weeks, I have seen how amazing Isaac is as a father. He loves Sam and thinks every little thing he does is the cutest thing in the world. (Which, let's be honest, it is.)
Though the past year was unexpectedly challenging for both of us, I couldn't be more grateful to have spent it with my best friend. I'm just starting to understand why marriage is so important and so meaningful. It's more than us just being friends, it's an obligation we have to one another, a responsibility we have to treasure each other. I'm so grateful that we made the choice to get married one year ago today.
It's been a great year.
Saturday, October 6, 2012
Welcoming Sam
I've been trying to think of how to write a fancy, fun post about having Sam in our lives, but nothing seemed to fit.
It's always harder to write when the subject matter is so near to my heart.
As all of you readers know, Isaac and I had our baby boy on Sept. 18.
The reality is, Sam is amazing. I love watching his little lips smack after he's satisfied during a feeding. I love that he already recognizes me. The other day, I started talking to him and he sleepily smiled. I know it was probably just gas, but that little smile melted my heart. I love waking up with him in the middle of the night and snuggling him tight. After he's done eating, he'll stay awake for a little while, just looking around and making noises. Sometimes I get annoyed that I can't go back to sleep yet, but then I see his eyes looking up at me and all of that goes away.
And the other reality is, Motherhood isn't easy. Through long nights and worrisome absences, I've come to realize what it feels like to be a mother: the aching love I feel when I'm sitting in class just thinking about my little guy at home, the time constraints and always being 10 minutes late to everything, the times when I'm just so tired, but I've got 2 people depending on me for certain things. It's tiring. But so worth it.
It's crazy how much such a little person can change your life. For the rest of forever, I get to be this little guy's mother. I get to worry about him and love him. I hope he always knows how much I love him.
It's actually been kind of an emotional journey for me these past 3 weeks. I'm sure lots of it is to do with the crazy changes in hormone levels happening in my body right now, but I think some of it has to do with just me. Sometimes, I think I'm afraid to love Sam too much. It's like, I try to keep myself detached from him just a little. I think I'm afraid to love him fully because I'm so entirely responsible for him, and what if I fail? What if I'm not good enough at all of this stuff? Not that I'll neglect him or anything like that, but what if this little guy grows up to be a rebellious teenager and turns away from the things Isaac and I have taught him? What if he sees our mistakes and weaknesses and decided he no longer needs us in his life? Or what if, on a more practical basis, the influences of this world hit him so hard, that Isaac and I can't protect him from them?
I look at this tiny baby and see the life that he has ahead of him. I see all of the things that I want for him and all of the things he could be. But then I see all of the things he's gonna have to deal with, all of the temptations and hardships he'll face. And I wonder how Isaac and I will be strong enough to help him deal with it. And will he listen?
Thank goodness for a loving Heavenly Father who will be there to help me be the best Mother I can be. I couldn't do this without the Gospel in my life.
Anyway, I love being a mother. It's everything I've dreamed of and more. It's also very humbling, full of complete unknowns and a lot of trial-and-error. I'm excited to start writing about my motherhood adventures on this blog.
It's always harder to write when the subject matter is so near to my heart.
As all of you readers know, Isaac and I had our baby boy on Sept. 18.
The reality is, Sam is amazing. I love watching his little lips smack after he's satisfied during a feeding. I love that he already recognizes me. The other day, I started talking to him and he sleepily smiled. I know it was probably just gas, but that little smile melted my heart. I love waking up with him in the middle of the night and snuggling him tight. After he's done eating, he'll stay awake for a little while, just looking around and making noises. Sometimes I get annoyed that I can't go back to sleep yet, but then I see his eyes looking up at me and all of that goes away.
And the other reality is, Motherhood isn't easy. Through long nights and worrisome absences, I've come to realize what it feels like to be a mother: the aching love I feel when I'm sitting in class just thinking about my little guy at home, the time constraints and always being 10 minutes late to everything, the times when I'm just so tired, but I've got 2 people depending on me for certain things. It's tiring. But so worth it.
It's crazy how much such a little person can change your life. For the rest of forever, I get to be this little guy's mother. I get to worry about him and love him. I hope he always knows how much I love him.
It's actually been kind of an emotional journey for me these past 3 weeks. I'm sure lots of it is to do with the crazy changes in hormone levels happening in my body right now, but I think some of it has to do with just me. Sometimes, I think I'm afraid to love Sam too much. It's like, I try to keep myself detached from him just a little. I think I'm afraid to love him fully because I'm so entirely responsible for him, and what if I fail? What if I'm not good enough at all of this stuff? Not that I'll neglect him or anything like that, but what if this little guy grows up to be a rebellious teenager and turns away from the things Isaac and I have taught him? What if he sees our mistakes and weaknesses and decided he no longer needs us in his life? Or what if, on a more practical basis, the influences of this world hit him so hard, that Isaac and I can't protect him from them?
I look at this tiny baby and see the life that he has ahead of him. I see all of the things that I want for him and all of the things he could be. But then I see all of the things he's gonna have to deal with, all of the temptations and hardships he'll face. And I wonder how Isaac and I will be strong enough to help him deal with it. And will he listen?
Thank goodness for a loving Heavenly Father who will be there to help me be the best Mother I can be. I couldn't do this without the Gospel in my life.
Anyway, I love being a mother. It's everything I've dreamed of and more. It's also very humbling, full of complete unknowns and a lot of trial-and-error. I'm excited to start writing about my motherhood adventures on this blog.
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Pregnancy Meets Grad School
So Grad School started for me 2 weeks ago. It has been awesome, and I'm really enjoying learning more about my program and the people in my "cohort" (group of fellow grad students).
The first day of grad school was a bit of an awakening for me. As I walked waddled to class in the 100 degree weather, I noticed that a bunch of people kept looking at me. This wasn't one of those paranoid "I'm insecure, so I feel like everyone notices my insecurities" type things. It was real. The more I waddled, the more I noticed the stares. Soon, I realized that my melon-sized stomach might have something to do with it. That's also when I realized that Tech is different than BYU in many ways.
First, being pregnant at BYU is like the standard, almost the norm for a girl my age. If I went through a whole day at BYU without seeing at least 5 pregnant women, and 4 strollers being pushed around with 1 or 2 kids, that was a weird day. At Tech... I'm finding that's not the case. The stares coming from many fellow students were a stark demonstration of that. I've come to realize that I tend to be in the minority, choosing to have a baby while still being in school.
In fact, I guess this was so much the case that when I got to my first class and we were going through introductions, the guy behind me asked me which college I came from. When I said BYU, he nodded as if to say "I thought so" and mentioned that he was from some college in Southern Utah. Apparently, he had made the correlation that if I have a ring on my finger, I'm in the MFT program at Tech, and I'm pregnant, I must be a Mormon.
Anyway, beyond that, the class was great.
Aside from me sweating like crazy by the time I get to each class and having to prop my feet up on whatever is available at the time, I'm actually getting through the classes pretty well. I'm finding that I actually appreciated the varying views that Tech has to offer. It's definitely a different type of education than I would get at BYU, but I think for the field I'm going into, that'll be pretty useful.
Isaac is enjoying his classes as well, and his job is going well. I continue to be so grateful for him. Today, we were having a discussion in one of my classes about single parent vs 2-parent homes and what the benefits of either can be. As I thought through my feelings on this issue, I realized how privileged I am to have a husband who loves and supports me. With how nerve-racking the idea of having a child is, I can't imagine going into it alone. I respect those single parents who have had to deal with these types of situations on their own for whatever reason, and I truly believe that single parents can make it work if they need to. But for me, going into Motherhood for the first time, I'm incredibly grateful to have a husband by my side who will love and support me through it all. As I've gotten bigger and bigger and see myself as less and less attractive, it continually surprises me that Isaac is still so attracted to me. He still wants to cuddle and steal those kisses when he can. He tells me every day how beautiful I am. I have to convince myself to believe him sometimes, but I'm so glad he does it.
Anyway, both of us are pretty ready to meet our little guy. School has served as a good distraction for the past couple of weeks, and that's been nice. It still blows my mind that we are going to have a baby soon, but I'm excited. We'll see. :)
Friday, August 24, 2012
A Pregnant Woman's Schedule
12am- wake up to turn to my other side, adjust pillows
2am- wake up again to turn to my other side, hold numb arm in the air for a little bit to get rid of tingles, adjust pillows
4am- wake up, go to the bathroom, maybe eat some apple sauce or a granola bar, go back to bed, adjust pillows, try to turn off my mind enough to go back to sleep
6am- wake up, turn over, stretch cramps out of both legs, find pillows that are now all over the bed and floor and adjust
8-9am- get out of bed and immediately eat breakfast before my stomach decides it might as well eat itself or my offspring.
9-10am- Shower, take a break, brush hair, take a break, put on make-up, take a break.
10-11am- decide what productive thing I can get done today, ultimately end up on Facebook and Pinterest
11-1pm- eat again and call it an early lunch so I don't feel bad, bring on the Tums, attempt to clean something, take a break
1-5pm- get something done, anything that I can cross off of a list to make me feel better about my day, take lots of breaks, eat snacks, and prop feet up often, order more stuff for the baby off of Amazon
5-8pm- attempt to fix dinner for a hungry husband, eat dinner, Tums, take a break, make a list of all of the things I still need to get done before this baby comes, feel good about making more lists
8-10pm- prop chubby, monster-feet up and take a break, wish I had gotten more done with my day, research every possible symptom that could mean I'm going into labor, cuddle with my husband, and get a foot massage
10:30pm- go to bed, and repeat steps from the day before
That about sums it up. Although pregnancy has been easier than I anticipated, it definitely has its moments. It drives me crazy that I can't even get through something as simple as brushing my hair without being completely winded and needing to sit down. I know I have curly, unruly hair, but let's be honest, it shouldn't be that hard.
Each day, I wake up thinking, "One day closer until I get to meet him. One day closer to not being pregnant any more." It keeps me going.
I'm sure all of you fellow mothers can relate, or may have had it worse. To the mothers who are pregnant while having little ones at home to watch over, I salute you. It always makes me smile when mothers with 3 or 4 small children ask how I'm doing. When I say something like, "I'm tired." They all empathetically nod, but inside I'm thinking, "Not as tired as you, though, so what am I complaining about!?" I seriously don't get how women do this over and over, especially with little ones needing their time and attention.
I'm sure I'll be there someday, but for now, I'm focusing on just getting through these last few weeks, one break-filled, lazy day at a time.
2am- wake up again to turn to my other side, hold numb arm in the air for a little bit to get rid of tingles, adjust pillows
4am- wake up, go to the bathroom, maybe eat some apple sauce or a granola bar, go back to bed, adjust pillows, try to turn off my mind enough to go back to sleep
6am- wake up, turn over, stretch cramps out of both legs, find pillows that are now all over the bed and floor and adjust
8-9am- get out of bed and immediately eat breakfast before my stomach decides it might as well eat itself or my offspring.
9-10am- Shower, take a break, brush hair, take a break, put on make-up, take a break.
10-11am- decide what productive thing I can get done today, ultimately end up on Facebook and Pinterest
11-1pm- eat again and call it an early lunch so I don't feel bad, bring on the Tums, attempt to clean something, take a break
1-5pm- get something done, anything that I can cross off of a list to make me feel better about my day, take lots of breaks, eat snacks, and prop feet up often, order more stuff for the baby off of Amazon
5-8pm- attempt to fix dinner for a hungry husband, eat dinner, Tums, take a break, make a list of all of the things I still need to get done before this baby comes, feel good about making more lists
8-10pm- prop chubby, monster-feet up and take a break, wish I had gotten more done with my day, research every possible symptom that could mean I'm going into labor, cuddle with my husband, and get a foot massage
10:30pm- go to bed, and repeat steps from the day before
That about sums it up. Although pregnancy has been easier than I anticipated, it definitely has its moments. It drives me crazy that I can't even get through something as simple as brushing my hair without being completely winded and needing to sit down. I know I have curly, unruly hair, but let's be honest, it shouldn't be that hard.
Each day, I wake up thinking, "One day closer until I get to meet him. One day closer to not being pregnant any more." It keeps me going.
I'm sure all of you fellow mothers can relate, or may have had it worse. To the mothers who are pregnant while having little ones at home to watch over, I salute you. It always makes me smile when mothers with 3 or 4 small children ask how I'm doing. When I say something like, "I'm tired." They all empathetically nod, but inside I'm thinking, "Not as tired as you, though, so what am I complaining about!?" I seriously don't get how women do this over and over, especially with little ones needing their time and attention.
I'm sure I'll be there someday, but for now, I'm focusing on just getting through these last few weeks, one break-filled, lazy day at a time.
Thursday, August 9, 2012
4D Videos of our Little Guy
I finally got my 4D ultrasound CD to work. I'm super pumped. I love watching these.
Moving his arms.
Playing with his feet.
Early Morning Thoughts
This morning I woke up at 5:30 and couldn't go back to sleep. Aside from the fact that I had to use the bathroom and my stomach was trying to eat itself, I couldn't make my mind slow down.
These days its hard not to anticipate what it will be like when my son comes. I find myself using my spare time to just fantasize about him. As I lay in bed trying to close my mind back down so I could get those last couple hours of sleep, I couldn't help but run through the picturesque moments in my head.
The moment I get to see him for the first time. The first time I hold him. The first time I'm able to sooth him back to sleep. The first time I understand what he is crying for. Watching his daddy hold him and kiss him. Crying because I have no idea what I'm doing and hoping he understands.
I picture sitting in his nursery, just watching him sleep, marveling that he's mine.
I'm sure all of these moments will be surrounded by harder, more stressful ones. But for now, it's fun to think of what it will be like.
As of last Friday, I am an official stay-at-home mom. :-) Well, I guess right now, I'm technically only a stay-at-home wife, but still. It's been fun to be back at home during the day.
Just in the last few days, with no work schedule to distract me, a fundamental truth as struck me. This is where I belong. I belong at home.
I didn't expect that. I expected to feel relaxed because finally I have the time I need to get all of those household chores done, but in only a few days, I've come to realize how comfortable I feel here.
I love staying at home.
I love that I can go grocery shopping, do the dishes, and clean the living room. I love getting things ready for our little guy and anticipating him crawling around on my newly vacuumed floors. I love that I'll have the time I need for those things.
I've found as I've embraced this inherent role, I am much happier. I feel so much peace. I've also found that I continue to become more and more grateful for the husband that I have. I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to stay home because he works so hard. We work as a team, and I couldn't do my part without him.
I know a few months from now I may be writing another blog entry about how I "just need to get out of the house," but for now, I'm treasuring the time I have here.
It's interesting to me that when we live what the Gospel has asked us to live, at least as much as our circumstances allow, we are happier. There is peace in being where you are suppose to be.
Beyond getting ready for our little munchkin, Isaac and I are both starting school at the end of the month. I'm excited to see what grad school has to offer. Part of me wonders if Grad School at Tech will be easier than my undergraduate at BYU, but we'll have to see.
Anyway, I'll be sure to keep the blog as updated as possible as the time draws nearer for our little guy to make his appearance. I can't believe I'm already 34 weeks along and that he's coming so soon. Life in the Olive household is about to drastically change and we are excited and quite nervous about it all.
These days its hard not to anticipate what it will be like when my son comes. I find myself using my spare time to just fantasize about him. As I lay in bed trying to close my mind back down so I could get those last couple hours of sleep, I couldn't help but run through the picturesque moments in my head.
The moment I get to see him for the first time. The first time I hold him. The first time I'm able to sooth him back to sleep. The first time I understand what he is crying for. Watching his daddy hold him and kiss him. Crying because I have no idea what I'm doing and hoping he understands.
I picture sitting in his nursery, just watching him sleep, marveling that he's mine.
I'm sure all of these moments will be surrounded by harder, more stressful ones. But for now, it's fun to think of what it will be like.
As of last Friday, I am an official stay-at-home mom. :-) Well, I guess right now, I'm technically only a stay-at-home wife, but still. It's been fun to be back at home during the day.
Just in the last few days, with no work schedule to distract me, a fundamental truth as struck me. This is where I belong. I belong at home.
I didn't expect that. I expected to feel relaxed because finally I have the time I need to get all of those household chores done, but in only a few days, I've come to realize how comfortable I feel here.
I love staying at home.
I love that I can go grocery shopping, do the dishes, and clean the living room. I love getting things ready for our little guy and anticipating him crawling around on my newly vacuumed floors. I love that I'll have the time I need for those things.
I've found as I've embraced this inherent role, I am much happier. I feel so much peace. I've also found that I continue to become more and more grateful for the husband that I have. I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to stay home because he works so hard. We work as a team, and I couldn't do my part without him.
I know a few months from now I may be writing another blog entry about how I "just need to get out of the house," but for now, I'm treasuring the time I have here.
It's interesting to me that when we live what the Gospel has asked us to live, at least as much as our circumstances allow, we are happier. There is peace in being where you are suppose to be.
Beyond getting ready for our little munchkin, Isaac and I are both starting school at the end of the month. I'm excited to see what grad school has to offer. Part of me wonders if Grad School at Tech will be easier than my undergraduate at BYU, but we'll have to see.
Anyway, I'll be sure to keep the blog as updated as possible as the time draws nearer for our little guy to make his appearance. I can't believe I'm already 34 weeks along and that he's coming so soon. Life in the Olive household is about to drastically change and we are excited and quite nervous about it all.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Words
I haven't posted in a while, and that's mostly because I haven't been able to decide on the words I'd like to write.
Words are kind of an interesting thing. There are wrong words and right words for every situation. And when the right words are given at the right time for the right situation, something magical happens.
As Isaac and I went the through the process of celebrating his father's life, attending his funeral and his graveside service, I found that words were quite important to the whole process.
There were sweet words given in his obituary, dictating an overview of his life on this earth. More profound words were given at his funeral in prayer, song, and formal speeches. At his graveside service, words were offered in an air of finality, dedicating his body and its burial place to the Lord.
In the midst of all of these words, it was fascinating to understand that none of them could really do it justice. How can any arrangement of words articulate the heartache, peace, and resolution felt? No words could accurately describe the Spirit that permeated each individual as they attended Papa Olive's funeral, or the ultimate acceptance and faith felt by each of his family members.
I found that others shared in my opinion. More than any condolence given, I heard "I just don't know what to say" or "I wish I knew what to say to you." Everyone was searching for the "right words," understanding that there really aren't any to give.
I would love to write a blog post about what I experienced at my Father-in-Law's funeral. I'd love to write about how much I miss him, and how much I wish he could be there next to my husband when he blesses our little boy. I'd love to write about the peace that has poured into my heart throughout this whole experience and how exceptional the Gospel is, especially when dealing with such a misunderstood, incomprehensible event like death.
But ultimately, I find that there aren't words that could do it justice.
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Words are kind of an interesting thing. There are wrong words and right words for every situation. And when the right words are given at the right time for the right situation, something magical happens.
As Isaac and I went the through the process of celebrating his father's life, attending his funeral and his graveside service, I found that words were quite important to the whole process.
There were sweet words given in his obituary, dictating an overview of his life on this earth. More profound words were given at his funeral in prayer, song, and formal speeches. At his graveside service, words were offered in an air of finality, dedicating his body and its burial place to the Lord.
In the midst of all of these words, it was fascinating to understand that none of them could really do it justice. How can any arrangement of words articulate the heartache, peace, and resolution felt? No words could accurately describe the Spirit that permeated each individual as they attended Papa Olive's funeral, or the ultimate acceptance and faith felt by each of his family members.
I found that others shared in my opinion. More than any condolence given, I heard "I just don't know what to say" or "I wish I knew what to say to you." Everyone was searching for the "right words," understanding that there really aren't any to give.
I would love to write a blog post about what I experienced at my Father-in-Law's funeral. I'd love to write about how much I miss him, and how much I wish he could be there next to my husband when he blesses our little boy. I'd love to write about the peace that has poured into my heart throughout this whole experience and how exceptional the Gospel is, especially when dealing with such a misunderstood, incomprehensible event like death.
But ultimately, I find that there aren't words that could do it justice.
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| 2 weeks before he passed away, he got to feel his grandson kick. :) |
Monday, June 18, 2012
Baby Bumps
Sometimes, especially lately, when a get a few moments to relax, I sit down and let my mind just wonder.
Lots of times my mind wanders to the major stresses of my life. As I think through everything, I often feel overwhelmed and sick to my stomach. I rub my eyes, run my hands through my hair, and wonder how everything will work out.
Then, in these quiet, stressful moments, my little boy will start kicking my tummy.
Though I know that his kicking is random and unintentional, every time I can't help but feel like every kick is meant to help me keep moving forward.
It's like with each little bump or scoot across my tummy, he's saying, "C'mon, Mommy, it's gonna be ok. I love you. We'll get through this."
In so many ways, I'm so glad this little boy is stuck in my tummy for a few more months. If he were here on top of everything else right now, I'm not sure I could handle it.
But in other ways, I can imagine those days after he gets here. In the quiet, stress-filled moments, I'll be able take a break, go to his crib and watch him sleep. I'll run my fingers over his tiny, precious body and know that as long as we have our family, we'll be alright.
I'm excited to meet our little guy. I'm excited for the inevitable happiness and love he will bring into our lives.
For now, though, I appreciate so much the fact that I can feel him.
Lots of times my mind wanders to the major stresses of my life. As I think through everything, I often feel overwhelmed and sick to my stomach. I rub my eyes, run my hands through my hair, and wonder how everything will work out.
Then, in these quiet, stressful moments, my little boy will start kicking my tummy.
Though I know that his kicking is random and unintentional, every time I can't help but feel like every kick is meant to help me keep moving forward.
It's like with each little bump or scoot across my tummy, he's saying, "C'mon, Mommy, it's gonna be ok. I love you. We'll get through this."
In so many ways, I'm so glad this little boy is stuck in my tummy for a few more months. If he were here on top of everything else right now, I'm not sure I could handle it.
But in other ways, I can imagine those days after he gets here. In the quiet, stress-filled moments, I'll be able take a break, go to his crib and watch him sleep. I'll run my fingers over his tiny, precious body and know that as long as we have our family, we'll be alright.
I'm excited to meet our little guy. I'm excited for the inevitable happiness and love he will bring into our lives.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
This week...
Last weekend we spent a wonderful few days with Papa Olive and other of Isaac's relatives. Everyone is coming from all over to see him since he's been moved to the nice hospice place. It was emotionally draining and spiritually uplifting. We were so glad to be able to spend that time with everyone.
This week, we may go crazy.
With the past weekend and all that it implies weighing heavily on Isaac and I's mind, we enter this week of madness. To give you an idea of what I'm talking about:
1. Isaac's birthday and my brother's Endowment are on Saturday. Both of these things are great things and I'm really excited for them. We also have Father's Day on Sunday, which should be good.
2. I work 3 doubles this week. Originally, when I agreed to do this I didn't know about many of the items listed below. This means that for 3 days this week, I will be working 10-11 hour shifts.
3. We are moving. We are very excited to move given previous events, but moving is no *insert cliche phrase here*.
4. With moving comes packing and renting Uhaul trucks as well as signing a new lease and breaking a current one. Not to mention the cleaning and unpacking that will come soon thereafter. As much as I adore organizing (which seriously, I really do like it), I'm dreading the mass of organizing coming our way.
5. Did I mention that we're speaking on Sunday? Isaac and I have both been asked to speak on the importance of Fatherhood. So somewhere in the mix of moving, working, and sleeping we have talks to write.
6. We're trying to sell a bunch of furniture. Some very generous donors have given us several great furniture pieces that we don't need. We've gladly accepted them, thinking we'd have time to sell them. Currently, though, the entire nursery is packed with extra furniture, so much so that we have about 5 totes sitting in our living room right now. The idea was to have a garage sale before we move, but it's looking like that won't happen at this point. So we're putting them up on Craigslist.
7. I'm 6 months pregnant and it's hot in our house. 'Nough said.
It seems like things like this tend to come in waves. When trials/ stresses come, they all come at once. I can feel my stomach starting to hurt like it does when I'm overwhelmed, but I keep trying to remind myself to take it one day at a time. It's crazy, but it's doable and we are very blessed.
Isaac is doing his best to keep me light-spirited. He's currently in the kitchen doing the dishes and singing Hakuna Matata at the top of his lungs. I love him. :)
This week, we may go crazy.
With the past weekend and all that it implies weighing heavily on Isaac and I's mind, we enter this week of madness. To give you an idea of what I'm talking about:
1. Isaac's birthday and my brother's Endowment are on Saturday. Both of these things are great things and I'm really excited for them. We also have Father's Day on Sunday, which should be good.
2. I work 3 doubles this week. Originally, when I agreed to do this I didn't know about many of the items listed below. This means that for 3 days this week, I will be working 10-11 hour shifts.
3. We are moving. We are very excited to move given previous events, but moving is no *insert cliche phrase here*.
4. With moving comes packing and renting Uhaul trucks as well as signing a new lease and breaking a current one. Not to mention the cleaning and unpacking that will come soon thereafter. As much as I adore organizing (which seriously, I really do like it), I'm dreading the mass of organizing coming our way.
5. Did I mention that we're speaking on Sunday? Isaac and I have both been asked to speak on the importance of Fatherhood. So somewhere in the mix of moving, working, and sleeping we have talks to write.
6. We're trying to sell a bunch of furniture. Some very generous donors have given us several great furniture pieces that we don't need. We've gladly accepted them, thinking we'd have time to sell them. Currently, though, the entire nursery is packed with extra furniture, so much so that we have about 5 totes sitting in our living room right now. The idea was to have a garage sale before we move, but it's looking like that won't happen at this point. So we're putting them up on Craigslist.
7. I'm 6 months pregnant and it's hot in our house. 'Nough said.
It seems like things like this tend to come in waves. When trials/ stresses come, they all come at once. I can feel my stomach starting to hurt like it does when I'm overwhelmed, but I keep trying to remind myself to take it one day at a time. It's crazy, but it's doable and we are very blessed.
Isaac is doing his best to keep me light-spirited. He's currently in the kitchen doing the dishes and singing Hakuna Matata at the top of his lungs. I love him. :)
Sunday, June 3, 2012
The Break-In
A few days ago, I wrote a blog entry about our house being broken into. I wrote it on paper (my 2 laptops were among the items stolen) and have been meaning to type it on the blog. Today, I read through it again and decided that even though time has made me less emotional about the whole thing, I should do my past feelings the justice of writing them. So here it goes.
Yesterday (May 29, 2012), our house was broken into and robbed while Isaac and I were at work. It was quite a shock to come home to our torn-up home and missing belongings.
Once Isaac said the words "Someone broke into our house..." my mind began to run through all of the valuable things we own. As I glanced around the house, I realized that many things were missing. My laptops were gone, the Wii, controllers, and games we just got for Christmas were gone.
As I walked through the wreckage, I began to cry. It was such a shock to think some unwelcome person had invaded our life.
At one point, I thought of my bracelet- the one valuable piece of jewelry I own. About 4 Christmases ago, Isaac gave me a diamond bracelet to wear on special occasions.
For the past 4 years, I have worn it on every special occasion we've had. I wore it each year on our anniversary, on the day he left for his mission, on especially hard days during his mission, and on the day he got home. I wore it the night we got engaged, the day we were married, and the day we saw our little boy on the ultrasound for the first time. As these memories rushed through my mind, I ran back to my bedroom, into my closet, and as I ruffled through the pile of stuff now there, my heart sank.
They took my bracelet, too.
My heart began to sink more and more as I realized what all they had taken- Isaac's tools, our camera, and my iPod. I felt so angry and hurt.
Then, as I walked among the mess, I began to see our little home through the intruder's eyes.
I saw him break down our door
and while searching through the kitchen, catch a glimpse of the ultrasound pictures we had posted on our fridge next to our engagement photo.
I saw him pass by the temple mirror my mom made us for our wedding on his way to rifle through the living room. As he rifled through all of our warranty information and vital papers, I saw him glance at our marriage certificate and throw it aside.
Next, he moved to the hallway, passing several pictures of us and plaques with the words "love" or "Olive Family, est 2011" inscribed on them.
In the bathroom, he grabbed the toilet paper to wipe his prints off of anything he touched, and as he was stuffing all of our prescription drugs in his bag, he glanced at yet another wall-hanging, "Isaac and Callan- Together at Last."
He moved onto our bedroom next. The bedrooms were the hardest for me to see.
He tore through my temple bag, strewing sacred clothing across the floor. He went through my entire hope chest- I'm sure he was disappointed when nothing of "value" was found there. He didn't think twice as he tossed my "Isaac Box" and baby books, full of precious memories and artifacts, aside and piled more things on top of them.
After finishing with our room, he went to the nursery. Baby clothes were thrown this way and that.
Isaac's "Callan Box" was likewise opened and torn through.
He searched our bassinet, throwing stuffed animals and other nursery items around the room in haste. Isaac's temple bag was treated the same as mine.
Then, feeling like he accomplished his goal, and probably feeling a little disappointed in the fact that we really are just poor college students, he left our home.
As I pictured this scene through our intruder's eyes, my heart broke. How? How could someone see such glaring evidence of a happy, sweet home and come in and destroy it anyway?
In the end, it's not the stolen stuff that bothers me. It's just stuff, and to be honest, we didn't have much to steal. Isaac and I are safe, and that's what matters.
What bothers me is the feeling that a fellow human, probably our neighbor, could do such a thing. He came into our home, our home, a place that's suppose to be one of the most sacred places on this earth for our little family, and in a few short moments, he defiled it.
That's the end of the entry I wrote that day. I think going through something like this has taught Isaac and I some valuable lessons:
1. There are some dishonest, heartless people in this world.
2. We need to move.
3. We can grow closer together during hard times.
4. Our family's safety is more important than money.
5. Ultimately, Theo is a really terrible guard fish.
Overall, we're looking at this experience as an eye-opening one. We're grateful for the lessons we've learned and though the next couple of months are destined to be quite stressful with everything we have going on, we know we can get through it together. :)
Yesterday (May 29, 2012), our house was broken into and robbed while Isaac and I were at work. It was quite a shock to come home to our torn-up home and missing belongings.
Once Isaac said the words "Someone broke into our house..." my mind began to run through all of the valuable things we own. As I glanced around the house, I realized that many things were missing. My laptops were gone, the Wii, controllers, and games we just got for Christmas were gone.
As I walked through the wreckage, I began to cry. It was such a shock to think some unwelcome person had invaded our life.
At one point, I thought of my bracelet- the one valuable piece of jewelry I own. About 4 Christmases ago, Isaac gave me a diamond bracelet to wear on special occasions.
For the past 4 years, I have worn it on every special occasion we've had. I wore it each year on our anniversary, on the day he left for his mission, on especially hard days during his mission, and on the day he got home. I wore it the night we got engaged, the day we were married, and the day we saw our little boy on the ultrasound for the first time. As these memories rushed through my mind, I ran back to my bedroom, into my closet, and as I ruffled through the pile of stuff now there, my heart sank.
They took my bracelet, too.
My heart began to sink more and more as I realized what all they had taken- Isaac's tools, our camera, and my iPod. I felt so angry and hurt.
Then, as I walked among the mess, I began to see our little home through the intruder's eyes.
I saw him break down our door
and while searching through the kitchen, catch a glimpse of the ultrasound pictures we had posted on our fridge next to our engagement photo.
I saw him pass by the temple mirror my mom made us for our wedding on his way to rifle through the living room. As he rifled through all of our warranty information and vital papers, I saw him glance at our marriage certificate and throw it aside.
Next, he moved to the hallway, passing several pictures of us and plaques with the words "love" or "Olive Family, est 2011" inscribed on them.
In the bathroom, he grabbed the toilet paper to wipe his prints off of anything he touched, and as he was stuffing all of our prescription drugs in his bag, he glanced at yet another wall-hanging, "Isaac and Callan- Together at Last."
He moved onto our bedroom next. The bedrooms were the hardest for me to see.
He tore through my temple bag, strewing sacred clothing across the floor. He went through my entire hope chest- I'm sure he was disappointed when nothing of "value" was found there. He didn't think twice as he tossed my "Isaac Box" and baby books, full of precious memories and artifacts, aside and piled more things on top of them.
After finishing with our room, he went to the nursery. Baby clothes were thrown this way and that.
Isaac's "Callan Box" was likewise opened and torn through.
Then, feeling like he accomplished his goal, and probably feeling a little disappointed in the fact that we really are just poor college students, he left our home.
As I pictured this scene through our intruder's eyes, my heart broke. How? How could someone see such glaring evidence of a happy, sweet home and come in and destroy it anyway?
In the end, it's not the stolen stuff that bothers me. It's just stuff, and to be honest, we didn't have much to steal. Isaac and I are safe, and that's what matters.
What bothers me is the feeling that a fellow human, probably our neighbor, could do such a thing. He came into our home, our home, a place that's suppose to be one of the most sacred places on this earth for our little family, and in a few short moments, he defiled it.
That's the end of the entry I wrote that day. I think going through something like this has taught Isaac and I some valuable lessons:
1. There are some dishonest, heartless people in this world.
2. We need to move.
3. We can grow closer together during hard times.
4. Our family's safety is more important than money.
5. Ultimately, Theo is a really terrible guard fish.
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Pregnancy is Awesome
I think often in this life, people forget to talk about the blessings and miracles they experience.
Maybe we find it easier to talk about the hardships because those don't find a place close to our heart, whereas the sacred experiences we have are nestled deep inside.
I'm starting to understand this concept more and more as I begin my journey in Motherhood.
With pregnancy, too often I hear horror stories like, "I was so sick that I had to be near a bathroom at all times." or "The smells! The smells are awful, just wait." etc...
In fact, this was so much the case, that Isaac at one point during my pregnancy asked if something might be wrong with our baby. To him, my pregnancy was too easy compared to the stories he had heard. I didn't get sick very much. I don't have any crazy horror stories to tell. I smiled when he asked that question and told him that maybe he just didn't hear about easy pregnancies as much.
I think ultimately, this concept is why I was unprepared for the sacred, sweet experience of seeing our little boy on an ultrasound for the first time. I had heard how amazing the birth of a child is, how incredible and sacred it is to hold that little one in your arms for the first time. But I had seldom heard about how special just seeing a picture of him could be.
As the ultrasound tech began scanning our little one for his measurements and fluid levels, I watched in silent awe. Could this human being really be inside of me? Could Isaac and I really be the ones solely responsible for taking care of him?
After the measurements were taken, she showed us more of our son's profile. We saw his sweet head, complete with a button nose and beautiful little mouth. I realized that this moment was sacred, and the Spirit was permeating both Isaac and I's entire bodies. We were seeing our son for the first time. Our son.
In that moment, I knew him. I knew what I want for him, what I hope for him. After we watched our son for a few minutes, small tears welling up in both of his parents eyes, the tech handed us the pictures she had taken and left the room to make sure all of the scans looked good.
Isaac and I sat hand in hand as we looked back over these sweet pictures and just marveled at this person we created. We both commented on how special this felt, seeing him for the first time, how humbling it was.
We commented on how much we already love him.
At the end of this experience, it was hard to be upset about anything else. Just days before, I was bemoaning the fact that my body is becoming so unrecognizable to me. Isaac tells me every day how beautiful I am, and he means it will all his heart, but I wasn't feeling as beautiful.
After seeing out little munchkin squirm around on that screen, there was no self-pity left in my heart. How could I complain about anything with this miracle inside of me?
Perhaps, if we shared more of these experiences with other future mothers, motherhood/ pregnancy would not be seen as such a burden or hardship. It would be seen as a miracle, a blessing beyond all others.
I'm starting to understand that more now.
Maybe we find it easier to talk about the hardships because those don't find a place close to our heart, whereas the sacred experiences we have are nestled deep inside.
I'm starting to understand this concept more and more as I begin my journey in Motherhood.
With pregnancy, too often I hear horror stories like, "I was so sick that I had to be near a bathroom at all times." or "The smells! The smells are awful, just wait." etc...
In fact, this was so much the case, that Isaac at one point during my pregnancy asked if something might be wrong with our baby. To him, my pregnancy was too easy compared to the stories he had heard. I didn't get sick very much. I don't have any crazy horror stories to tell. I smiled when he asked that question and told him that maybe he just didn't hear about easy pregnancies as much.
I think ultimately, this concept is why I was unprepared for the sacred, sweet experience of seeing our little boy on an ultrasound for the first time. I had heard how amazing the birth of a child is, how incredible and sacred it is to hold that little one in your arms for the first time. But I had seldom heard about how special just seeing a picture of him could be.
As the ultrasound tech began scanning our little one for his measurements and fluid levels, I watched in silent awe. Could this human being really be inside of me? Could Isaac and I really be the ones solely responsible for taking care of him?
After the measurements were taken, she showed us more of our son's profile. We saw his sweet head, complete with a button nose and beautiful little mouth. I realized that this moment was sacred, and the Spirit was permeating both Isaac and I's entire bodies. We were seeing our son for the first time. Our son.
In that moment, I knew him. I knew what I want for him, what I hope for him. After we watched our son for a few minutes, small tears welling up in both of his parents eyes, the tech handed us the pictures she had taken and left the room to make sure all of the scans looked good.
Isaac and I sat hand in hand as we looked back over these sweet pictures and just marveled at this person we created. We both commented on how special this felt, seeing him for the first time, how humbling it was.
We commented on how much we already love him.
At the end of this experience, it was hard to be upset about anything else. Just days before, I was bemoaning the fact that my body is becoming so unrecognizable to me. Isaac tells me every day how beautiful I am, and he means it will all his heart, but I wasn't feeling as beautiful.
After seeing out little munchkin squirm around on that screen, there was no self-pity left in my heart. How could I complain about anything with this miracle inside of me?
Perhaps, if we shared more of these experiences with other future mothers, motherhood/ pregnancy would not be seen as such a burden or hardship. It would be seen as a miracle, a blessing beyond all others.
I'm starting to understand that more now.
Friday, May 4, 2012
There's this boy...
Today I fell in love with another boy.
His daddy and I pretty much think he's perfect.
His daddy and I pretty much think he's perfect.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Trip to Kansas/ Missouri
The trip was amazing, really. It taught me a few things about my life. 1. I married an amazing guy. (I already knew that, but it was definitely reaffirmed this trip.) 2. I'm terrible about remembering to take pictures. 3. Kansas City is much prettier than Lubbock.
We began the trip with a 12 hour drive in our cool rental car.
Our drive went smoothly other than Isaac getting his very first speeding ticket. He's always been able to talk himself out of them before, but not this time.He blamed it completely on the fact that our car is was red and sporty looking, which I had to agree makes a difference. I had to laugh though, because now he can't brag that he's never gotten a ticket.
Anyway, so then we made it to Kansas City, MO. Though we were tired and it was getting late, Isaac couldn't help but stop off a few exits and show me various places he had served on his mission or funny experiences he had. He was talking a million miles an hour, and it was really fun for me to see him so excited. Eventually we got to the place we were staying- with some LDS members, the Kieffers, that Isaac had gotten to know previously.
They were awesome. We talked with them a while that first night and I'm glad we did, because we didn't have much time the rest of the trip to do so. They had nothing but wonderful things to say about Isaac as a missionary. Isaac has a hard time receiving compliments, but it was a bunch of fun for me to hear.
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The second day we met a bunch of other people Isaac met on his mission- some converts and some members. All of them mirrored the Kieffers in their high praise of Isaac. For 2 days I listened to stories about how Isaac had touched people's lives. For both Isaac and I, it was a very validating trip. He realized that his mission truly made a difference, and I realized that it was completely worth letting him go for 2 years so that he could make that difference. Luckily, I even remembered to take a few pictures of that first day!
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| The Crabtree Family. |
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| The Adams- who are almost about to finish their mission at the Independence Visitor's Center |
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| Isaac and his friend, Chris, whom Isaac helped bring back into activity while on his mission. |
That night we were able to go through the temple open house with a couple Isaac met while on his mission. When he found them 2 years ago he talked with them extensively about the Gospel and they loved learning about it, but they weren't interested in converting. They are 7th Day Adventists and very devout. When they asked Isaac back then about the LDS temples, he responded by saying that he would take them through the open house when this temple was open. He made a promise to them that he would. Of course, they forgot about it all and assumed that was that until Isaac called them about a month ago. He asked if they still wanted to come and they excitedly said yes.
So we took them through. It was an amazing night full of insightful and challenging questions but also a feeling of peace and camaraderie. They are amazing people and we had a wonderful time talking with them. We had so much fun that we went over to their house afterward and stayed for another 2 hours (almost midnight at this point) just talking with them. I think the relationship formed between Isaac and this couple will never really be forgotten. They weren't any closer to converting to our faith by the time we left that night, but the moments we shared just talking about our individual devotion to God made the time spent more than worth it.
The next morning we got up early again and headed out. We visited many different places. Isaac literally drove me around to every single area he served. It was neat seeing all the places and attaching them to the experiences he wrote me about every week. We also met with several more wonderful people this day, but alas, I forgot to take pictures. I did take a few, though:
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| This is at the 3 Witnesses Monument in Richmond, MO, said to be the burial place of Oliver Cowdery |
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| Also in Richmond, MO, this was taken at the sight where Joseph Smith rebuked the guards while being held unjustly in jail. The building is no longer there, but this the sight where is used to be. |
The next morning, we got up and went to church in Isaac's first area. He was in this area for 9 months, so he got to know the members really well. It was fun to go to church and during sacrament meeting, people would glance in Isaac's direction, we'd see the recognition light up their face, and then they'd wave. He had many people talk to him afterward and say that he was their favorite missionary. Some families even invited us over for dinner. But we had to leave right after the meeting to get started on our 12 hour drive home.
Isaac was sad that he couldn't spend more time with his first area, but he was glad he got to see everyone and give hugs to all of those nice older ladies who couldn't hug him before.
The drive back was rather uneventful but good. We got to see Isaac's parents briefly on our way through Amarillo so that was great. We stayed and talked for a while and then headed back home. Halfway to Lubbock (an hour later) Isaac's mom called my phone and said Isaac had left his backpack at their house. He had a test the next day and finals in a couple of weeks, so being without his backpack wasn't an option. We turned around and headed back. This is extended our trip by about 2 hours, but it was ok. We made it home safely and happily.
Anyway, long synopsis of our trip. It was really neat, and I'm so glad we were able to spend that time together.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Kicking
The other day, I was watching this movie with Isaac:
when all of the sudden I felt something.
For the past few weeks, I've been paying special attention to little movements in my body, hoping to pin anything of them on this munchkin inside of me. But none of them were definite. Though I've never felt a baby kick before, I somehow knew what it should feel like.
So when our little munchkin decided to grace us with his/her presence the other night, I knew.
I felt a strong little tap on my lower tummy. I kinda jumped and then looked up to Isaac. The room had a few others in it, but I wanted this moment to be just Isaac and I's.
I whispered to him, "I just felt the baby kick!" and he asked me, "Really? Where?"
I moved his hand to my tummy where I had just felt the kick, and right then, I felt another one. I jumped again and he smiled. He knew he wouldn't be able to feel it yet, but he was excited to watch my expressions. I felt the baby 2 or 3 more times in that same spot before he/she moved.
It was the neatest and craziest thing to be able to feel someone moving inside of me, really a surreal experience.
Isaac later said that when I initially told him that the baby had moved a wave of panic came over him. Suddenly, this little thing that is making my belly get bigger is actually a moving, interacting human being. The reality of my pregnancy hit him a little more. He did say, however, that the panic was quickly replaced with peace and reassurance, and he knew that it will be ok, that we can do this.
Since then, I've felt the baby moving more often. I can feel him/her more when I'm relaxing because I can pay attention to the movements more. But I have yet to feel the baby quite as strongly as I felt him/her that night. I attribute this to the fact that the baby is either a girl, and she wanted to make her positive opinions about Jane Austen known, or it's a boy, and he was getting really bored.
I mostly look forward to the time when Isaac will be able to feel our munchkin moving as well. It's always more fun to share things like that with him.
when all of the sudden I felt something.
For the past few weeks, I've been paying special attention to little movements in my body, hoping to pin anything of them on this munchkin inside of me. But none of them were definite. Though I've never felt a baby kick before, I somehow knew what it should feel like.
So when our little munchkin decided to grace us with his/her presence the other night, I knew.
I felt a strong little tap on my lower tummy. I kinda jumped and then looked up to Isaac. The room had a few others in it, but I wanted this moment to be just Isaac and I's.
I whispered to him, "I just felt the baby kick!" and he asked me, "Really? Where?"
I moved his hand to my tummy where I had just felt the kick, and right then, I felt another one. I jumped again and he smiled. He knew he wouldn't be able to feel it yet, but he was excited to watch my expressions. I felt the baby 2 or 3 more times in that same spot before he/she moved.
It was the neatest and craziest thing to be able to feel someone moving inside of me, really a surreal experience.
Isaac later said that when I initially told him that the baby had moved a wave of panic came over him. Suddenly, this little thing that is making my belly get bigger is actually a moving, interacting human being. The reality of my pregnancy hit him a little more. He did say, however, that the panic was quickly replaced with peace and reassurance, and he knew that it will be ok, that we can do this.
Since then, I've felt the baby moving more often. I can feel him/her more when I'm relaxing because I can pay attention to the movements more. But I have yet to feel the baby quite as strongly as I felt him/her that night. I attribute this to the fact that the baby is either a girl, and she wanted to make her positive opinions about Jane Austen known, or it's a boy, and he was getting really bored.
I mostly look forward to the time when Isaac will be able to feel our munchkin moving as well. It's always more fun to share things like that with him.
Friday, April 6, 2012
Overwhelmed
Sometimes I find myself overwhelmed.
Not necessarily overwhelmed with life as it currently is for me, but with life as it soon will be.
I look at the 5 months left I have of this pregnancy and think to myself, "I'm not ready."
I think back to the decision Isaac and I made to get pregnant and wonder what the heck we were thinking. We're just kids! How can we expect to take care of one?
As the reality of Motherhood descends upon me, I find myself almost breathless at times, wondering what experiences it will bring and how I will handle such experiences.
Beyond even that, I have my graduate program beginning at the same time. 2 major life events happening within weeks of each other. Both, bound to change my life in their own unique ways.
So what I am I thinking, choosing all of this?
At this point in my questioning, I usually come to one conclusion: Because it's right.
Isaac and I knew that we should start trying to get pregnant after 2 months of marriage. Both of us were hesitant, understanding that the timing wasn't exactly great for out plans. We knew we could delay for a year or 2 and still "technically" be following the commandments. I remember those prayers we offered, both about grad school and the baby. I remember the feeling of reluctance I had as I came to God with these questions, both of which I already knew the answer to in my heart. But more than anything I remember how incredible the feelings of peace and assurance were.
Ironically, these days I often feel more childlike or immature than I ever have. As I pray to a loving Heavenly Father with these overwhelming feelings, I picture myself as a little child just learning to ride a bike without training wheels. My Heavenly Father is the one behind me, urging me to push on despite my justified fears. He knows that this will bring me joy and I trust him, which is why I'm doing it.
I look at all the things that I still need to decide: Cloth diapers or disposable, natural childbirth or epidural, breastfeeding or formula fed, etc...? Then there's buying everything I need to buy.
As much experience I've had with children, I still feel completely unprepared. How will I know how many hours I should wait in between feedings? How will I know which cry means what? How will I know if my baby is sick or hot or cold? I feel like I should have begun reading books and learning about all of this stuff way before now. With only 5 months left, I feel completely behind.
I'm sure I'm not the only 1st time mother who has felt this way before. So I welcome your suggestions and feedback, fellow mother readers.
In the end, I guess pregnancy in general is turning out to be a lot more faith provoking than I would've anticipated. It seems so simple- get pregnant, have a beautiful little baby that makes you lose sleep at night, and live happily ever after. But as the reality of this responsibility is hitting me more and more, I find myself deliberately pushing forward in faith.
I can't imagine what it would be like if this pregnancy happened on accident, or I was a single teenager facing such an unknown. What those mothers must go through...
Anyway, I apologize for the long entry about my personal woes, but I thought maybe writing about it would help me sort things out in my head. And I was right. I feel much better now.
Not necessarily overwhelmed with life as it currently is for me, but with life as it soon will be.
I look at the 5 months left I have of this pregnancy and think to myself, "I'm not ready."
I think back to the decision Isaac and I made to get pregnant and wonder what the heck we were thinking. We're just kids! How can we expect to take care of one?
As the reality of Motherhood descends upon me, I find myself almost breathless at times, wondering what experiences it will bring and how I will handle such experiences.
Beyond even that, I have my graduate program beginning at the same time. 2 major life events happening within weeks of each other. Both, bound to change my life in their own unique ways.
So what I am I thinking, choosing all of this?
At this point in my questioning, I usually come to one conclusion: Because it's right.
Isaac and I knew that we should start trying to get pregnant after 2 months of marriage. Both of us were hesitant, understanding that the timing wasn't exactly great for out plans. We knew we could delay for a year or 2 and still "technically" be following the commandments. I remember those prayers we offered, both about grad school and the baby. I remember the feeling of reluctance I had as I came to God with these questions, both of which I already knew the answer to in my heart. But more than anything I remember how incredible the feelings of peace and assurance were.
Ironically, these days I often feel more childlike or immature than I ever have. As I pray to a loving Heavenly Father with these overwhelming feelings, I picture myself as a little child just learning to ride a bike without training wheels. My Heavenly Father is the one behind me, urging me to push on despite my justified fears. He knows that this will bring me joy and I trust him, which is why I'm doing it.
I look at all the things that I still need to decide: Cloth diapers or disposable, natural childbirth or epidural, breastfeeding or formula fed, etc...? Then there's buying everything I need to buy.
As much experience I've had with children, I still feel completely unprepared. How will I know how many hours I should wait in between feedings? How will I know which cry means what? How will I know if my baby is sick or hot or cold? I feel like I should have begun reading books and learning about all of this stuff way before now. With only 5 months left, I feel completely behind.
I'm sure I'm not the only 1st time mother who has felt this way before. So I welcome your suggestions and feedback, fellow mother readers.
In the end, I guess pregnancy in general is turning out to be a lot more faith provoking than I would've anticipated. It seems so simple- get pregnant, have a beautiful little baby that makes you lose sleep at night, and live happily ever after. But as the reality of this responsibility is hitting me more and more, I find myself deliberately pushing forward in faith.
I can't imagine what it would be like if this pregnancy happened on accident, or I was a single teenager facing such an unknown. What those mothers must go through...
Anyway, I apologize for the long entry about my personal woes, but I thought maybe writing about it would help me sort things out in my head. And I was right. I feel much better now.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Missionary Moment
Tonight, I tried a recipe that I didn't like. Not all that surprising with me being pregnant and all. But I was quite disappointed.
I learned an important lesson, though.
If ever you have a full casserole you don't like, invite 2 hungry missionaries over to your house.
It's always fun to have missionaries over, but I still find myself feeling a little awkward. I am brought back to all those times of seeing missionaries and thinking of Isaac. For 2 years, missionaries were like a secret link to Isaac's mysterious world. They did what he did, they taught what he taught.
So now, even 8 months after Isaac's mission. I still feel somewhat girlish and bemused around them.
For me, it's fun to think of these missionaries' lives back home. Do they have a concerned mother or girlfriend that prays that they'll be fed and kept safe? I like to think so.
Just a few days ago, on March 29th, I saw the date and my heart leaped. But then, as I stared at the date more, I wondered why I was excited. I tried to think through all that I had going on to find something significant that would make feel this way. Finally, I remembered- the 29th of every month used to be Isaac's mission month. Every time I'd come to the 29th, that meant another month down. I laughed to myself. It was funny that after 8 months, just seeing the numbers 29 still made me excited inside.
Anyway, I guess that doing something for 2 years makes it stick for a while. No wonder our Elders have such a hard time transitioning back to normal life sometimes.
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| Isaac, 2 1/2 years ago. |
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Awkward Pregnancy Stuff #1
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| I ate right before this picture, so my belly is a little bigger than usual, but still, it's gotten bigger. :D |
Sometimes, people ask me funny questions about being pregnant.
I had heard from previously pregnant friends and family how awkward the questions and gestures can be. But I didn't anticipate this for a while.
Alas, it's already begun.
Mostly I find that the questions are good-natured and well-intentioned, but I always find myself wondering how I should answer.
For instance:
1. How are you feeling? - This one seems pretty common and basic, but I'm asked that probably 2-3 times a day. Often, like the other day, I'll forget that they are referencing my pregnancy, and I'll say something like, "Oh, you know, I have a bit of a cold today, but I'm pretty good." Then I realize what they were actually asking about and I have to backtrack and say something like, "Oh, and yeah, no morning sickness or anything, so I've been good." haha It's like being pregnant means that that's all I should be thinking about. When they ask me how I'm feeling, I should just know that they are referencing my pregnancy, not my current state. I'm learning.
2. How's your baby??- This one cracks me up. I get asked this almost more often than the previous question. It seems to make sense to the people asking it, but to me, I'm like, "How do I even answer that?" --"Um... my baby is doing fine, I guess. Still in there, so that's good..." or "You know, I think he/she's still growing. Getting his/her fingernails this week, so I'm sure that makes him/her happy..." haha, I dunno. Maybe people with more grace and tact have better answers for that question, but I haven't come up with anything yet.
3.Can I feel your baby?- Yes, I'm only 16 weeks along and I've already been asked this more than once. Usually my response to this is to look at whoever asked that question, look at my belly, and then just look back at them. In my head I'm thinking, "Um, my baby is currently like 2 inches big. If I can't even feel my baby, then you sure as heck aren't gonna try."
4. "You're getting sooo big!"- Another classic. And I have no response. What do people expect me to say? - "What really? *Looks down at belly* Oh, you're right!" or "Yup, turns out that that happens when you're pregnant." or, usually my response. "Um.. thanks."
5."Give me that baby!"- Ok, so this one technically doesn't count because it's from one of my two year olds who tells me that almost every day. She has determined that I'm just being silly by not giving her the baby in my belly. She thinks it's a game. To me, her request is equivalent to the ones listed above, though.
Anyway, I guess being pregnant changes the way people look at you. It suddenly becomes this information fest where they are allowed to ask you any question about your life and you get to answer. Suddenly, you're not just a woman anymore, you are a pregnant woman. There's a big difference, I guess (haha literally!). But I take it all in good stride and laugh to myself often.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Updates and Decisions
It's been a while. And I have excuses.
I'm currently writing this from Isaac and I's new home.
We moved a couple of weeks ago and have since been settling into our new abode.
We are pretty content with the place overall. Sure, we have to light the pilot light on the heater before it works, there's a hole in one window that lets bugs and air in, there's a couple of couches in our backyard from who knows when, and we don't have a dishwasher or garbage disposal. But we're happy. It's fun having our own house and the neighborhood isn't too crazy. We have been enjoying giving directions to people though. "Just turn right before liquor store and you'll be there!" It all seems a tad more sketchy than it is, I suppose.
Beyond moving, Isaac's been chugging right along with his classes. He admitted to me one afternoon that school isn't something he enjoys, even if he's pretty good at it. I told him that that just makes him normal. He's doing really well though, and I'm proud of him for sticking to it.
Another exciting, weighty happening was that we found out Isaac isn't the only one who will be in classes this fall. As it turns out, I've been accepted into the Marriage and Family Therapy Master's Program here at Tech. I attended an intense day of interviews and after a couple weeks finally heard back from them. It was a hard choice to make, especially with the munchkin on the way (due only 2 weeks after the 1st semester begins). Ultimately, though, after prayer and a bunch of phone calls to friends and moms, Isaac and I decided it's an opportunity I can't pass up. The program is 2 years long if I go by the track they have listed, so the timing should work great with Isaac's schooling. It just seems like the right time and the right place. We'll see how I feel after I'm halfway into the program with a 1 year old on my hands. :)
Though we've been busy and stressed with a lot of new life-changing decision, we're happy. Life is treating us well and we know we are blessed.
The baby is also doing well for those that are wondering. I'm well into my second trimester now, so the sick part has mostly passed which makes baby developing a lot more fun. It's starting to hit me more how permanent this whole baby decision is and though that's a crazy thing to realize, it's super exciting, too. My next appointment is in a couple of weeks. And then, at the beginning of May, we'll be able to find out the munchkin's gender! I'm super pumped about that. It'll make everything more real.
Anyway, so that's life with the Olive family right now. I thought I'd do another long general update for y'all so that next time I get on here I can write about something random and simple like watching Barney with my 2- year-olds and feeling so grateful for parents who stuck through years of crazy barney fanatics with me as a child. There's something inherently creepy about that purple dinosaur and his little dino friends.
I'm currently writing this from Isaac and I's new home.
We moved a couple of weeks ago and have since been settling into our new abode.
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| My excuses |
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| More excuses |
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| Empty apartment |
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| In the new house- Are you convinced of the justified nature of my excuses yet? |
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| 2nd bedroom |
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| Our little house |
We are pretty content with the place overall. Sure, we have to light the pilot light on the heater before it works, there's a hole in one window that lets bugs and air in, there's a couple of couches in our backyard from who knows when, and we don't have a dishwasher or garbage disposal. But we're happy. It's fun having our own house and the neighborhood isn't too crazy. We have been enjoying giving directions to people though. "Just turn right before liquor store and you'll be there!" It all seems a tad more sketchy than it is, I suppose.
Beyond moving, Isaac's been chugging right along with his classes. He admitted to me one afternoon that school isn't something he enjoys, even if he's pretty good at it. I told him that that just makes him normal. He's doing really well though, and I'm proud of him for sticking to it.
Another exciting, weighty happening was that we found out Isaac isn't the only one who will be in classes this fall. As it turns out, I've been accepted into the Marriage and Family Therapy Master's Program here at Tech. I attended an intense day of interviews and after a couple weeks finally heard back from them. It was a hard choice to make, especially with the munchkin on the way (due only 2 weeks after the 1st semester begins). Ultimately, though, after prayer and a bunch of phone calls to friends and moms, Isaac and I decided it's an opportunity I can't pass up. The program is 2 years long if I go by the track they have listed, so the timing should work great with Isaac's schooling. It just seems like the right time and the right place. We'll see how I feel after I'm halfway into the program with a 1 year old on my hands. :)
Though we've been busy and stressed with a lot of new life-changing decision, we're happy. Life is treating us well and we know we are blessed.
The baby is also doing well for those that are wondering. I'm well into my second trimester now, so the sick part has mostly passed which makes baby developing a lot more fun. It's starting to hit me more how permanent this whole baby decision is and though that's a crazy thing to realize, it's super exciting, too. My next appointment is in a couple of weeks. And then, at the beginning of May, we'll be able to find out the munchkin's gender! I'm super pumped about that. It'll make everything more real.
Anyway, so that's life with the Olive family right now. I thought I'd do another long general update for y'all so that next time I get on here I can write about something random and simple like watching Barney with my 2- year-olds and feeling so grateful for parents who stuck through years of crazy barney fanatics with me as a child. There's something inherently creepy about that purple dinosaur and his little dino friends.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Getting to Know You
Sometimes as I watch my 2 year olds play, I wonder what kind of 2 year old this little person in my belly will be.
Will she be the kind that talks up a storm, even when I wish beyond anything that she'd just be quiet for a while?
Will she be the kind that plays well with the other kids, or will she be more reserved, content to just watch what's going on?
Will she be stubborn, always needing to get her way and telling me what's what, or will she be tenderhearted, ready to cry at the slightest sign of disturbance?
I know what I hope her to be and any of these personalities would do.
Whatever personality she has, I hope she's able to see this cruel world through optimistic eyes.
I hope she'll be able to appreciate art, music, and football even if she isn't the greatest at creating/ participating in these things.
Beyond anything, I hope this little one will be able to grow up feeling that she is loved. I hope she'll know that she can turn to her mommy and daddy for anything, especially her Heavenly Daddy.
I can't wait to meet her, get to know her, and teach her all of the good and bad lessons I've learned.
I hope she feels the same about me.
(I'm hoping for a girl. And I try not to call our baby "it". So picking a gender to write with seemed easier for this entry. All of the above are just as applicable if our munchkin is a boy.)
Will she be the kind that talks up a storm, even when I wish beyond anything that she'd just be quiet for a while?
Will she be the kind that plays well with the other kids, or will she be more reserved, content to just watch what's going on?
Will she be stubborn, always needing to get her way and telling me what's what, or will she be tenderhearted, ready to cry at the slightest sign of disturbance?
I know what I hope her to be and any of these personalities would do.
Whatever personality she has, I hope she's able to see this cruel world through optimistic eyes.
I hope she'll be able to appreciate art, music, and football even if she isn't the greatest at creating/ participating in these things.
Beyond anything, I hope this little one will be able to grow up feeling that she is loved. I hope she'll know that she can turn to her mommy and daddy for anything, especially her Heavenly Daddy.
I can't wait to meet her, get to know her, and teach her all of the good and bad lessons I've learned.
I hope she feels the same about me.
(I'm hoping for a girl. And I try not to call our baby "it". So picking a gender to write with seemed easier for this entry. All of the above are just as applicable if our munchkin is a boy.)
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Pregnancy, a House, and Grad School
The weather outside makes me so excited for Spring. It's 75 degrees with a nice breeze right now and all of the trees are blooming.
Also, the fact that I'm starting to feel much better pregnancy-wise helps. I'll be 12 weeks on Wednesday and that makes me very excited. I'm starting to show a little now, and have already done a little maternity clothes shopping. Both of those facts make me sad and excited at the same time. For now, I still look like I've just gained some weight. I look forward to actually looking pregnant instead of just fatter.
My monthly appointment is on Wednesday as well, so I'm excited to go and make sure everything is still growing like it should. :)
As far as other happenings, Isaac and I are 95% sure we've found our new home. It's not the little house we mentioned before, but it's another little house. (Picture to come once we seal the deal.) It's very close to Tech and in a price range we like. The best part? It's a house! We'll have a little yard and a garage. It's a place we can actually make our home. I'm very excited about this new place. We'll be moving fairly soon, so it'll be good to get settled there. All that's left is some paperwork to sign and it'll be ours.
On Friday, I had my Graduate School interview. It was actually a very fun day. I got to meet lots of great people and made some good friends. The interview part wasn't all that nerve-racking and I felt like I gave the best answers I could. So I guess we'll see. At this point, I feel like even if I don't make it, I'm really glad I got to go to the interview and associate with all of the other people.
Anyway, kinda a boring entry this time, more informative than anything else. I'm sure later I'll have something witty or imaginative to post, maybe even some pregnant belly pictures. For now, life is just life. :)
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