Sometimes I'll set Sam down to get some stuff done, and every once and while I'll catch him smiling out of the corner of my eye. If Isaac and I are having a conversation, or the temple mirror that we have in our living room is in his view, there is a smile on his face.
I am beginning to live for those smiles. It never gets boring or normal. Every time he looks at me and smiles, my heart melts all over again, and I marvel at how awesome he is.
It's funny, because I'm almost scared to miss them. I'm afraid that sometime I'll be too busy or not paying enough attention, and he'll have a smile on his face. I don't want to miss a single smile or a single moment.
I guess that's another hardship of motherhood, the fact that we'll have to miss some things. I'll have to miss smiles here and babbling there. It's a hard concept to resign myself to.
Every time I have to leave my little one, for class or otherwise, I think about how I'll never get those 3 hours back. He'll never be just 7 weeks, 8 hours, and 23 minutes old again.
He's already grown up so much since he was born. Part of me is super excited to learn more about him and slowly see his personality develop. But the mother in me is mourning the time already gone. I now understand why I hear mothers say to treasure the moments that you have, because it all passes too quickly.
I know Isaac feels the same. Just the other day he said, "It wouldn't be so bad if you got pregnant again. It'd be fun to have another little baby." To which I replied, "Um... no."
Anyway, the reality is that time has to pass. I guess the important part is enjoying the time we are given and living life to its fullest. For now, I will continue to marvel at every little coo or smile. Sam amazes me every day. I never want to lose that feeling of wonder and excitement about him.
