Suffice it to say, last year was rough for Isaac and I, as it seemed like it was for a lot of people (according to Facebook.) But it was also awesome for Isaac and I. It think that's just how years tend to be. We had one of the saddest moments I'm sure we'll ever experience with the death of Isaac's father. But we also had one of the most joyful moments we'll ever experience with the birth of our son.
I've found looking back on any series of trials that I have been given, that the blessings match the hardships. The harder the trial is, the more blessings you receive by being faithful through it. At least, that's how it's been in my life. This year was no different in that regard.
I love looking back and seeing where my trials lead me. Some of the biggest examples I can think of are:
1. When I moved to Texas
- I was 14 when my family moved to TX, and I thought my entire life was over. I went into depression for about 3 months, thinking I would never be happy again. I told my Mom I was going to run away, and I made a plan to do so in my journal (complete with a goodbye note). I was convinced that nothing good would come of this trial... until I met Isaac. My first Sunday in Texas, this cute boy looked at me from across the classroom and right then, I noticed he was different. I went home and told my mom that although my life was over, there was this one boy that was pretty neat. And the rest is history. The blessings FAR exceeded that trial that seemed unbearable to my 14-year-old self.
2. Graduating early
- When I was 16 my parents sat me and my siblings down and explained that we would be moving the summer before I began my Senior year of high school. I was devastated. Not only did that mean that I would need to graduate early, it also meant that I would be leaving Isaac for a year before college. I prayed through it, though, and eventually felt peace. Half-way through the summer, with me in the middle of summer classes so that I could finish high school a year early, my parents sat us down once again and told us that we wouldn't be moving after all. I was ticked. I had already set things in motion for graduating. I was so upset that I gave that Senior year up for nothing (though, I was excited that it meant Isaac and I would still be together.) It wasn't until I got into BYU that I realized why I had to graduate early. I tried hard in High School, but my GPA wasn't the highest according to BYU standards. That with my low ACT score would have prevented me from getting into BYU, but because I went to a junior college for 2 semesters and made a 4.0 there, I was able to transfer those credits, and I made it in. Once again, I understood that because of my faithfulness during what seemed like a very difficult trial, I was given blessings more than I could comprehend.
3. Our house being broken into
-You all know about that whole thing, our house being robbed last year. But here's the thing. Because of that robbing, we were able to battle it out with our rental company and get released, without penalty from our lease. It just so happened that at the exact time that we were finally let out of our lease, a budget-friendly, everything-we-want-and-more apartment opened up and we were able to get the slot. Isaac and I think about that often as we enjoy our current place and how glad we are that everything worked out like it did. God didn't chose for us to have our house broken into, that was some idiots dumb choice, but He knew how to make good things come of it. He always knows how to make good things come of it.
From these experiences and more, I've come to realize in a very poignant way that God gets it. He gets what's going on. He knows our lives way better than we do. He knows that certain things will be hard for us and certain things will be awesome. He knows the paths we need to take to make us the best people we can be. Most of all, He loves us. He loves us so much that He's willing to watch us suffer because He knows something even better is on the other side of that suffering.
This year, as I head into a future full of unknowns, all I can do is have absolute faith in the fact that God is with me always. He will always be watching our little family. As bad things happen, because they will happen, He will always make good things come of it. As long as I can have faith in Him, regardless of the circumstance, I will be blessed more than I could imagine.
Anyway, that's my New Year's post. I hope everyone out there has an awesome 2013. :)
Speaking of something awesome, this is a new video of Sam making all sorts of noises. He did this for 15 minutes straight that night and we were cracking up. I love his little voice. :)
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