Early Morning Thoughts

This morning I woke up at 5:30 and couldn't go back to sleep. Aside from the fact that I had to use the bathroom and my stomach was trying to eat itself, I couldn't make my mind slow down.

These days its hard not to anticipate what it will be like when my son comes. I find myself using my spare time to just fantasize about him. As I lay in bed trying to close my mind back down so I could get those last couple hours of sleep, I couldn't help but run through the picturesque moments in my head.

The moment I get to see him for the first time. The first time I hold him. The first time I'm able to sooth him back to sleep. The first time I understand what he is crying for. Watching his daddy hold him and kiss him. Crying because I have no idea what I'm doing and hoping he understands.

I picture sitting in his nursery, just watching him sleep, marveling that he's mine.

I'm sure all of these moments will be surrounded by harder, more stressful ones. But for now, it's fun to think of what it will be like.

As of last Friday, I am an official stay-at-home mom. :-) Well, I guess right now, I'm technically only a stay-at-home wife, but still. It's been fun to be back at home during the day.

Just in the last few days, with no work schedule to distract me, a fundamental truth as struck me. This is where I belong. I belong at home.

I didn't expect that. I expected to feel relaxed because finally I have the time I need to get all of those household chores done, but in only a few days, I've come to realize how comfortable I feel here.

I love staying at home.

I love that I can go grocery shopping, do the dishes, and clean the living room. I love getting things ready for our little guy and anticipating him crawling around on my newly vacuumed floors. I love that I'll have the time I need for those things.

I've found as I've embraced this inherent role, I am much happier. I feel so much peace. I've also found that I continue to become more and more grateful for the husband that I have. I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to stay home because he works so hard. We work as a team, and I couldn't do my part without him.

I know a few months from now I may be writing another blog entry about how I "just need to get out of the house," but for now, I'm treasuring the time I have here.

It's interesting to me that when we live what the Gospel has asked us to live, at least as much as our circumstances allow, we are happier. There is peace in being where you are suppose to be.

Beyond getting ready for our little munchkin, Isaac and I are both starting school at the end of the month. I'm excited to see what grad school has to offer. Part of me wonders if Grad School at Tech will be easier than my undergraduate at BYU, but we'll have to see.

Anyway, I'll be sure to keep the blog as updated as possible as the time draws nearer for our little guy to make his appearance. I can't believe I'm already 34 weeks along and that he's coming so soon. Life in the Olive household is about to drastically change and we are excited and quite nervous about it all.